Where I have a little chat with my body.

Dear Body,

I’ve called you all here together because we need to talk.

First I want to say Thank you to my stomach for not rumbling and grumbling and aching the very second you have finished digesting the last morsel of food I gave you.  You won’t die if you don’t have something to work on 24-7.

To my brain, thank you for quicking jumping to something else to think about when I’m bored and food comes across you.  Just because I’m bored (and stomach may or may not be rumbling and grumbling down there) does not mean I have to shove food into my mouth.  There are plenty of other things out there to distract you. Uh, like writing blog posts for here, or You Won’t Go Blind, or even Buy-Her.

To my abs.  Thank you thank you thank you for letting go of all that extra flab I’ve made you carry around.  I’m sure you were glad to see it go.  I am too.  I am also thrilled to see that you are still as trim and flat as ever underneath all that flab.

To my boobs.  Yes, I thank you for your commitment to this weight loss endeavor I’ve embarked on. I thank you for your willingness to be a team player.  I am thrilled that your contribution made the number on the scale get smaller and smaller.  I am not thrilled that with your enthusiasm.  I had gorgeous boobs that I loved and could flaunt a little.  Now?  You all have shrunk.  A lot.  I think you can stop putting forth the effort.  Thank you.

Hips and ass?  Please go take a freaking leason from my boobs.  They jumped on board with this weight loss business and threw away a lot of weight.  A little too much if you ask me.  Why are you so committed to hanging on to the fat?  Frankly, why don’t we see if you could just give it to my boobs.  It would look so much better with them.  What? NO, no, I’m sure they wouldn’t give it away. I’ve had a nice little chat with them.

Ok, legs?  What’s the deal?  I’m walking all over the place, way  more than I used to, and you two?  Are refusing to shape up and grab hold of any sort of muscle tone.  Seriously?  My abs look fabulous… My ankles?  Not so much. And my calves?  I’m afraid cankles are not far off.  Get your shit together.  Seriously.

Overall, Body, I’m impressed and proud of your performance in this weight loss journey.  I’ve started buying some new, cute, skinny clothes to show off the improvements.  We know where there needs to be more work, and who needs to step back and relax.