I live with Bert and Ernie only with vaginas.

People? This is the best Bert and Ernie book. Ever. It was one of my sister’s favorites when she was a child.  Ok, I don’t know that for a fact. It was one of MY favorites when she was a child.

If you haven’t read it, (and clearly most of you probably haven’t) it’s the story of how Ernie bought some cookies but broke the cookie jar, so he has to put the cookies in the sugar bowl, and the sugar in a flower-pot, and one thing leads to another ending with the fish in Bert’s cowboy hat.  So Bert has to wear a pot on his head when he wants to play “Ride ’em cowboy.”   People? That is a direct quote, do not laugh at me.

This weekend, the girls and I stopped at Sonic on our way back from The Lake. (who we were with is a blog post for another day).  A few miles down the road,  the following conversation took place in the back seat of the car.

Newt: Here, Tate, Hold your Sonic food.

Tate:  Why should I hold my Sonic food?

Newt: Because I have to put my food in your Sonic Bag.

Tate:  Why can’t you put your food in your bag?

Newt: Because mine has a soda in it.

Tate: Why does your bag have a soda in it?

Newt: Because the cup holder is full.

Tate: The cup holder is full?  Of what?

Newt: Books.

Tate: What?  Why are their books in the cup holder?

Newt: Because I don’t want them on the floor on my feet.

Tate: So what I supposed to do with my Sonic food if you’re using my bag?

Newt: Hold it on your lap?

People?  I can not make this shit up.

Having the last word

The girls play a word game in the car on their way to their dad’s and home every other weekend.  We like to call it RAILROAD.

The first girl spells railroad R-A-I-L-R-O-A-D.

The other spells a word that starts with the letter ‘D’.

Then the first spells a word that starts with the last letter of her word and so on and so on.

Last night, Tate (13) had given Newt (10) a ‘O’ word.  So Newt spells OK.   “Sister, you have a ‘K’ word”

Tate begged to differ.  “OK is not spelled OK, it’s spelled O-K-A-Y.”

“No, it’s spelled O-K”

“A-Y” argued Tate.

And back and forth they went laughing until they were crying, tears running down their cheeks.

Newt finally got the last word in by saying  “No, sister, I’m pretty sure O-K spells OK.”

Pretty hard to argue with that.