Where I let you into the playground of my manic mind

Just a friendly reminder that in less than 2 weeks, Google Friend Connect will be going away.  And while I’m still not sure what that means exactly, I don’t want any of you to miss a single fun-filled episode of my life the soap opera.  You can do any or all the following:

• Subscribe to my RSS Feed here
• Sign up for Email Delivery Here
• Follow Welcome to my Life on Facebook here.
• You can follow me on Twitter here

I am also on Google+ and I am on Networked Blogs through Facebook.  The simple truth is, if you want to find me, follow the flashing neon signs. 

I went to the doctor this week about my meds.  When you spiral as hard and as fast as I did, something has to change.  And so it did.  A tweak in the medications and we’ll see how I feel in a couple of weeks.  The problem with med updates is that for the first few days I am bitchy beyond belief because I feel as if I’m living in jello.  I can see all these things around me that need to be done and I just can’t seem to get off my butt to do them.  That and I’m convinced if I could just straighten up my house and put everything away my life would be in order as well.  Again, jello, butt-couch.  I know things will be even out and I’ll feel so much better next week, but right now I bitch at the girls because my house is cluttered.  Mostly with my shit.  I’m awesome like that.

I am on lithium, which used to conjure up images of insanity, and asylums, and Jack Nicholson in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.  Now it just means blood work every couple of weeks to check my lithium levels.  I’m going to have more track marks than a back hooker on crack.  And speaking of back alley hookers on crack, I pinned this greeting card on Pinterest months ago.

(click on image for source, I’m awesome like that)

Last week I got an email saying they were removing it because it was pornography and nudity.  Really?   I can have a “That’s it, I’m creating a WTF board” with this WTF picture on it

and it’s left alone, but a greeting card about a hooker on crack gets pulled.  Hello, it was on the internet.  So I downloaded the damn picture.   Yes, this is my manic mind at work, you almost need a road map to keep up with me, don’t ya.  I live with this shit in my head.

And speaking of getting things in order, I am totally geeking out over Outlook 2010.  I subscribed to my own damn blog (because writing this crap isn’t enough, I’m narcissistic as well) and now I can add each feed to my calendar so I will have an archive of every blog post this year.  Also, I can attached the emails that I get whenever someone comments on my blog to the same calendar event and someday in the future I can go back and see who said what on which blog post.  And yes, when I’m trying to get my brain in order, and my thoughts on the same track all going the same way, any kind of micro-managing organization I can do is comfort.  I am almost embarrassed I wrote this paragraph.

This is my life in a nutshell today.  I know next week I’ll be doing better.  In the meantime I am reading blogs, even if I’m not commenting.  I will get back to my usual snarky self (as if today wasn’t snarky enough) next week.  Thanks for hanging in here with me.  Also? Margaritas help this all make more sense.  I promise.

Pinterest, Horders for the Internet

There’s a new drug on the streets.

Pinterest.

It’s the heroin of the internet.

It’s like Fantasy Football for girls.

It’s the adult version of a Fairy God Mother.

Or maybe it’s just Horders for the Internet.

I am a bit of a shoe whore.  Christian Louboutin? My god.  My unemployment doesn’t allow me to own a pair of Louboutins.  Pinterest does. Dozens of pairs of Louboutins.  Louboutins I have nowhere to wear in real life.

I’ll never own my own house.  I’m perfectly content with renting and letting someone else worry about the maintenance and repairs.  Pinterest, though, allows me to ‘collect’ my dream home. The awesome shower with the color changing heat sensitive tiles, the winding staircase coupled with a spiral slide, the library that is three stories tall, with walls of windows overlooking the bay. (I live in Mo. Pinterest doesn’t care)

Pinterest allows me to wear fabulous clothes, on a rocking body, with perfect makeup, wearing smokin Louboutins, as I host a classy cocktail party in my stylish eat-your-heart-out house on the bay.  All the glorious food and drinks I made myself and Emeril is jealous.  Or so I’ve heard.

Some things I have learned from Pinterest and reasons why you should become addicted join right now.

• There are some people out there who are more seriously in love with Harry Potter than I am.  It makes me feel like less of a freak.
• I now know, that if money were no object I would overdose on shoes. Clearly.
• Even though I will never get married again, I can still dream about the perfect dress, pick out the gorgeous ring, and find the most fabulous shoes.
• There are a lot of people out there with a lot of time on their hands and a lot of crafty stuff laying around the house. Also? Probably no kids.
• That this pin of mine, sparked a debate that garnered 85 comments, and lasted almost an entire month. People are passionate.
• There is something out there for everyone.
• I will never be as crafty or talented as a third of the people on Pinterest. I’m ok with that.  I can just ‘window shop’.
• I have no idea how this even came about. And I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know.  I’m sure there were promises made that shall never be spoken of again.
• If you need a pick me up, Pinterest has it.  If you need some inspiration, Pinterest has it.  If you need some motivation, Pinterest has it.  If you need a good laugh… Pinterest has it.

If you need an invite, let me know in the comments.  You’ll thank me later.  Much later. You know, like when you come up for food.

Once Upon a Time

I found this on Pinterest.  I know, it’s hard to read but it says, “Once upon a time a prince asked a beautiful princess Will you marry me? And the princess said NO and the prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and fucked with cute skinny girls and hunted and raced cars and went to naked bars and dated women half his age and drank beer and jack Daniel’s and captain Morgan and drank the milk from the box and never heard bitching and went to rock concerts and kept his apartment and his favorite jeans and never got cheated on while working and all his family and friends thought he was fucking cool as hell and had tons of money and left & left the toilet seat up The End.

Yay for women bashing.

But my question is, if all of the those things were important and he was absolutely convinced his life with her would mean giving up the rock concerts and the drinking and his friends and hunting and racing and money and his favorite jeans and his Cool… then why did he ask her to marry him in the first place?

So, my fairy tale (because me all know my track record in the love and romance department) would be something like this.

A prince and princess had been dating for a while, when they started talking about marriage.  It seemed like a good fit. He liked motorcycles and fast cars and she thought if he wants to get himself killed I’ll get the life insurance money.  Especially if he’s going to be driving either after drinking his beer or Jack Daniel’s. The Captain Morgan was all hers. And also margaritas.  Because she never bitched about his motorcycles and fast cars or his drinking he was extra careful because he knew he’d never find another woman like her. There would be no need for him to go to naked bars or chase other women because they had a rocking sex life at home (from all the tequila in the margaritas).  She had no problem with the rock concerts and would even join him, because as it turns out they liked the same kind of music and most of the same bands. He insisted he keep his apartment, and she said that was fine, she would keep hers too. It was then they decided they could find an apartment together because he didn’t see the need for her to keep her apartment once they were married.  As for his favorite jeans, he could keep them, after all that was really such a minor thing to argue over. He agreed she could keep her mini skirts because they were HAWT, even though he didn’t like it when she wore them out to the bars with her friends. He trusted her.  His friends thought she was cool because on Sundays she would let them all come over and watch the game, and provide the beer and really awesome snacks and while they were watching the game she would be in another room watching a movie she had been dying to see but knew he wouldn’t ever want to watch.  If they were watching the race, she would join them because she loved racing as much as he did even if she did hate his favorite driver.  His family thought she was awesome because they knew she would never try to change their son because she knew who he was before she agreed to marry him and there was no point in trying to change someone just because they were now married.  After all if you’re going to marry someone it’s better to marry someone you know and have things in common with, instead of marrying a stranger. Her family loved and adored him because they knew that he would provide for her, and he loved her and he didn’t control her and he trusted her and she would never betray that trust. He still had lots and lots of money because she had her own job, but since they were combining their lives why not combine their finances too? It only made sense.  And that toilet seat issue? She figured it was easier and less energy to just shut up and put the seat down and go on because there were bigger things to worry about.  Like who his favorite driver was. Then end.

Shut up. Did you miss the part where this was a fairy tale??

What's Going on in my world lately

I know, I’m a bad blogger.  Don’t post anything for over a week and when I do come back I password protect what I do write. Believe me the password is just to keep a few people out, so if you want to know I’ll send you the password.  It’s not a big deal.  I needed to vent and wanted to prevent a bigger fight.

Having said that…

Friday was my nephew Duck’s 11th birthday.  No, of course Duck isn’t his REAL name.  That’s his super hero identity, clearly.  This child.. boy/kid/wonder of the world is just amazing.  Those of us who know and love him are blessed beyond words.  Those of you who haven’t met him yet, well, just wait he will blow your mind.

But along with Duck’s birthday, Friday marked the beginning of the One Month Countdown to  my birthday.  We won’t discuss or disclose what number this birthday will be, but it’s safe to say it’s a few bigger than Duck’s.  Anyway, my motto this time of year is: Shop Early, Shop Often, Buy LOTS!.  Of course nobody ever listens.

Because the day after my birthday is the REAL important holiday.  The day you can legally blow shit up.  And because it’s THAT day, my birthday gets over looked.  Which is a real shame because I give everyone I work with the day after my birthday the day off to recover from the most fabulous fantastic birthday blow-out extravaganza, that just never seems to happen.

Also, I have found a new online addiction that is a wonderful fun time suck.

Pinterest is the Virtual Bulletin Board and it is Awesome.  So come follow me if you’re already addicted, if you want a fun way to kill time that’s not Angry Birds, I’ll send you an invite.  They say it’s a “fun reminder of clothes I will never afford/fit into, the home decor I will never afford/fit into our small home, the recipes and crafts I’m too lazy to ever make, the sayings I wasn’t clever enough to think of on my own, and the photos I wish I had taken but didn’t.”

Sounds fabulous doesn’t it?

And that my friends is where I have been hiding, basically, in a nut shell.  I’ve been reading more than I’ve been writing.  I’ve been working more than I’ve been playing.  And so now, I’m off to plug-in the iTouch, and listen to some tunes laying in the sun, catching some rays.