Jail Chronicles, Chapter 3

Deputy Sourpuss walks me downstairs. At least he didn’t cuff me. The whole time I’m telling him it’s their mistake and I’m being punished for their incompetence. Yes, I realize I was winning brownie points with him hand over fist with this argument. I’m sure he’d heard every excuse in the book. It’s never the ‘criminal’s’ fault. They are always innocent. I was nobody special to him. And from his demeanor, that fact was loud and clear. I could have been tap dancing naked in front of him and I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t have noticed.

He walks me into booking at the Warren Co. Jail. I’m pissed and shocked. I’m ready to scream, and I’m calling everyone around me a fucking liar. For the first time in my entire life I feel betrayed by “the Man”. As far as I’m concerned, it is all *their* fault I’m in booking. If only I had remembered to bring the paperwork I had at home showing my court date to be May 6^th 2008, none of this would be happening to me. I was very calm and polite when I explained the confusion and mix-up to Brandon as they booked me in.

I had learned in the past, that if you’re polite and calm and talk to the officers, making them see you as a person and not a ‘criminal’ then they are more likely to relax some of the regulations. I needed them to do just that, relax the regulations. I knew I needed my cell phone as a life line out of that place and sucking up to all the officers on duty in booking that morning would get that for me. Also, in sucking up to them, it made them see me as a person, and it helped to calm the anxiety I was feeling and hold off the panic attack. It was a win win win situation for me.

As they booked me in, taking mug shots, finger prints I asked them about their family? Kids? Wife? Husband? Pet? Anything to make them more human to me, and me more human with feelings to the. It worked. I was never handcuffed. I was never searched. I was never patted down. Aside from fingerprinting I was never touched. They even shared their Pepsi with me. I was allowed to keep my clothes and my shoes and my cell phone with me the entire time. I was free to walk around the booking area and we all talked and joked around while we waited for the money to arrive to cover my bail.

It was a court day (just not *MY* court date) so all day long there were groups of inmates coming though booking to be taken to court. That meant being brought down from the pods, and shackled for transportation. Shackled for them meant wrist cuffs, chained to their waists, and ankle cuffs. Not pretty. When they would bring a group of inmates down for court, I was put into a visitation room or a holding cell for safety. Sometimes I was allowed to stay in booking and talk with the inmates on their way to court.

It fascinated me to listen to their stories. How they ended up in jail, for how long. They are so matter-of-fact about their life, their jail time, their prison sentence, it’s like they are going to school. Some of these people grew up in the court system. It’s the only life they have ever known. They’re mom and dad are in jail or prison. It’s like they can see no other option. Jail is just a fact of life for them. In all honesty, they know the jail and prison system better than any lawyer out there. They know what they can expect, how long they will be there. And they just patiently do their time, knowing it’s the price they have to pay for the life they live on the outside.

Around noon my bail shows up. I’ll end up missing a whole day of work over this, but at least I’ll be out and at home tonight and the girls won’t know anything more than Mom took off work early. The CO’s do the out-processing paperwork. Sign here, and they call for a ’29’ which checks for any other outstanding warrants anywhere.

All of a sudden I can sense the wall of ice going up between me and the Co’s who, just an hour before, had shared their soda and their pizza. The smiles fade, the laugher dies, and all of a sudden I’m no longer one of them, or even a ‘just waiting for bail’. I’m Them. The pseudo friendship I had struck up with the 3 CO’s on duty that day was no longer valid. Four warrants out of Lincoln County appear out of nowhere. I am blindsided by them. Freedom, which was just a signature away is suddenly out of my reach. My fate is sealed.

The charges? Minor. The Bail? UInreasonable. All unchangeable. I’m not going home any time soon.