Where I take one for the team. You'll thank me later.

Earlier this week I wrote a letter to McDonald’s questioning their decision to temporarily stop the sale of their delicious cherry pies in favor of selling pumpkin pies for the remainder of the holiday seasons.  Clearly they don’t have the sharpest crayon in the box heading up their marketing team, but whatever.  They at least have made a peace-offering by way of the McRib, but I know that’s only temporary.

Sara left me a comment “OHMYGOSH I LOVE pumpkin pie! Is this pumpkin pie disgusting? If so, I am SO over McD.”

UM.. I don’t know. *Whispering* I haven’t tried one yet.  I’m too afraid.   But, because you asked, and because I am a giver, clearly.  I will go out and buy one, eat it AND review it here.

So Sara, this is for you.  You’ll thank me later.

So, I pull into the drive thru. I *know* I am going to order a pumpkin pie (shudder) a small vanilla shake (because it’s the closest thing to whip cream McDonald’s has) and a large Dr. Pepper, (in case this sucks as bad as I am afraid it’s going to). My stomach screamed “Order a McRib!” my head knew I was on a mission.

I got to the speaker, “I need 1 pumpkin pie, 1 small vanilla shake and 1 large Dr. Pepper”.  “Do you want to get another pumpkin pie? They are two for a $1.00”.

I don’t even want the first one, why would I order 2?  But I’m on a mission.  I promised Sara, and I’m a giver. Clearly. I sent a text message to my work bestie “I can’t believe I just ordered a pumpkin pie.  From McDonald’s. And I didn’t order a McRib! Sacrilege really.

I pull through to get my order.  Oh look, my small vanilla shake has whipped cream and a cherry on top. Now they are just mocking me.

Back at work (where I convince my boss I am doing serious research) I sit staring at the box.

What the hell is that couple doing on my box?  Seriously? she looks as if she’s humping his leg. And McDonald’s slogan? I’m lovin’ it!  Their marketing department? They ain’t right.  And coming from me, that’s saying something.

Open it up, it looks like any other McDonald’s pies.  Smells a lot like cinnamon, not so much pumpkin. It looks pretty normal, until you break it in half.  Don’t break it in half. You do *NOT* want to see what’s inside.

The first bite? Not so bad.  It’s not the best, after all it’s a *warm* pumpkin pie, which to me is wrong.  But if first you don’t succeed, take another bite, and another, eventually it will disgust you.  And this?

Was NASTY.

Even with the whipped cream.  Even with the vanilla shake.  Even with the soda to wash it down.  My  taste buds and then my stomach revolted (in their humble opinion)

Sara, don’t give up on McDonald’s.  They still bring the McRib back every year, they have the best fast food french fries in the world, and eventually this disaster will go away.

I can only hope.

Dear McDonald's, I'm beginning to question my love for you

Dear McDonald’s,

I guess we are destined to repeat last year, seeing as how you apparently don’t remember what a traumatic fiasco it was.  I still bear the emotional scars from last year.  But here we are again. Sigh.  Please take notes this year so we don’t have to repeat this. Ever. Again.

I went through one of your glorious drive thru’s a few weeks ago, with my heart, and stomach set on a cherry pie and a small vanilla shake.  I pulled up and placed my order with a really nice sounding teen that I know was just doing her job.  She had no way of knowing just how much emotional trauma she would inflict on me with the simple phrase “I’m sorry, we no longer have cherry pies.  We now have apple and pumpkin.”

PUMPKIN PIES!

At McDonald’s.

I know you pulled this little stunt last year, and I am pretty sure I voiced my opinion and made it clear that you should really get rid of those nasty apple pies for the next 4 months while you try and make pumpkin pies a fast food item.  And really, why must you INSIST on bringing them out in October.  Sure there are pumpkins in October, it’s Halloween.  We celebrate the outside of the pumpkins and throw away the insides.  Pumpkin pies really should only be brought out for two weeks in November and then they should disappear.

I’ve worked with you when I was in college.  I know how your pies are made.  They are deep-fried.  Now, I know that America has an unexplainable obsession with deep-frying everything under the sun, but pumpkin pies?  Really?  And in a drive thru?

I can appreciate that you are trying to make it up to me by bringing back my to-die-for-eat-it-every-day-for-lunch McRib.  But I know that you will take the McRib away from me long before you pull those dreadful pumpkin pies from your menu and bring back my beloved cherry pie.

I will admit that the McRib trick? It’s working.  I will still visit your various establishments just to get my bar-be-que and hot fries fix, but once that McRib is gone?  You won’t be seeing much of me until you bring back the cherry pie.

PS: Even the boxes are ugly.