Unless I personally put it in your face, it's none of your business

For those of you who haven’t been with me from the beginning, there will be a short history lesson in today’s post.

For a whole lot of reasons in my history, trust is an issue with me.  (God I hate that sentence.  Trust is an issue. No it’s not.. lack of trust is a problem.)  I don’t trust well, or easily.  But this isn’t really about trust… this is about privacy. Maybe it’s more about respect.

Anyway… to the history lesson.  Shortly after I first met Brian, I let my over active,  non-medicated, bipolar imagination get out of hand and I broke his trust, violated his privacy (or at least tried) and totally disrespected him. (in an ironic twist of fate.. he returned the favor several times… with much success…. but that’s not part of the lesson)

My life is all over the internet, if you know where to look.  Ok, not my entire life, but a lot of my life is plastered everywhere if you want to spend 5 minutes stalking me.  Some parts of my life are very public, some are very private.

Brian always kept his laptop password protected and guarded, and when I thought we were sharing a life together it kind of bothered me that there was this part of his life that was kept from me.

Until yesterday.

Then?  I got it.

Yesterday, I was showing someone this really awesome picture I took last Friday.

Which, if you ask me, is a truly awesome picture.  Apparently Corvettes haul more than ass.

I pulled it up on my iPod Touch, and showed this person.

They reached and took it out of my hand.  I turned to answer the phone.  When I turned back around? They were thumbing though all of my photos on MY iPod Touch.

I immediately took it back from them, asking “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

Just looking through your pictures.

Uh, those pictures? Are none of your business.  I didn’t give you permission.

There are some out there who would argue the fact that when I gave him the iPod to look at one picture I implied permission to look at all my pictures.  I call BULLSHIT on that.

Sure, there is nothing illegal about what the person did, it was underhanded and schmarmy and uncool. And at that point I wanted to stab them.  I still want to bitch slap them.

Yesterday I got it.  I got why Brian kept his laptop password protected.  I got why he valued his privacy.  While I put a whole lot of my life on the internet, I don’t put everything out there.  And what I don’t put on the internet, or personally show you?

Is none of your business.

For Puppy Monster

I have never met Dave in real life.  In fact I’ve had very limited contact with him on line.  I’m not even sure I can say I’ve ever met him, either in real life or on line.  I know of him through mutual friends.

But none of that matters on June 21st of every year.  This is the day the internet remembers Dave’s son DJ, who died four years ago today.

I honestly think Britt said it best when she wrote the following

 

“There are times when the whole world should stop and know that something awful has happened.

There are times when the rest of the world, for even just a moment, should not be allowed to laugh or to smile or to joke or to go on with their lives as if the very fabric of time were not just ripped in two.

There are times when the only thing we can do is join in the suffering.”

The world won’t stop spinning, today I will write paychecks and watch a movie with my girls.  Today people will go about their day and laugh, or cry, but for a moment,  just a moment, my world will stop… and I’ll remember.

I don’t know you personally Dave, but every year I stop and remember.