I Have Worth

If there was one thing I learned in therapy last week, it was I have worth.

I am stronger than I seem, braver than I believe, and smarter than I think. (Thank you Christopher Robin for such beautiful words).

I learned that I shouldn’t settle,  that I am enough on my own.   It’s pretty hard to ignore the awesomeness it takes to raise two Drama Tweens as a single mom these days.   I’ve had my dark days, but here we are, four years after moving away from my entire support system, in a new duplex, with one daughter a cheerleader, and the other trying out this year.

I learned there is a line in the sand that I put there.  A limit to what I’ll accept and when it’s time to walk away.  I have worth, and if you can’t see that,  you have no room in my life.

I know what I want, and I won’t settle for less.   I want the whole she-bang, not just half-ass here and there.   I don’t want to be squeezed in when you have a second, I want to be wanted.  I deserve that, at the very least.

I don’t have time, or the desire to play games any more.  I know what I want, and if you want it too, great, we’ll work to get there, together.  But I’m not going to waste my time on someone who doesn’t see the future as I see it, with me in it.

I learned a lot in therapy last week.  I learned that victim mentality pisses me off.  Mostly because I spent so many years being the victim in my own life.  It strips you of any power and responsibility in your own life.  I learned how to get my own power back.  I found my own voice, and now I call the shots in my life.   Now I make the rules.