My Mother's Day Wish-Hope-Prayer

My Mother’s Day Confession:

I am afraid my mental illness will keep me from being the mother my daughters deserve.

There.

I typed it.

One of my deepest fears.

I fear that no matter how hard I fight, no matter how hard I try to sheild them, my mental illness will scar them, will somehow effect them, hurt them, for life….

I am afraid that when they look back at their childhood they will only remember the tears, the rages, the mood swings, my desperate desire to escape the world and be alone.  That when they look back they will only see the illness and not how hard I fought to keep it from them.

I want them to know… I love them, I’m proud of them, they are my world, and I fight with everything in me to keep the demons in my head, in my head and away from them.

Please let me suceed.