The things they teach, and need to teach in school these days

I am now a stay-at-home-mom against my will.  That is to say, I am a SAHM but it was not my first career choice.  Honestly, I am a DHAJBALSIAHALM. That is Don’t Have A Job But Actively Looking So I Am Home A Lot Mom for those of you not really good with acronyms. 

So I’m home, before the girls leave for school, when the girls get home from school.  My house is clean. I am actually cooking dinners that are more than Hamburger Helper and peanut butter and jelly.  I’m a real Betty Crocker.  If Betty Crocker drank margaritas.*  Although I’m thinking of switching to wine, it’s cheaper and faster (Don’t have to mix wine, just open a bottle, pour, drink =happiness)

Now that I’m home the girls think they can take full advantage of that.  Pfft, as if.  The other day, Meredith texts me “I’m in gym class, but I forgot my hat for cheer practice after school, can you bring it to me?” Well no, no I can’t. I just opened a bottle of wine.  I wanted to teach her a lesson in responsibility, but I caved.  You know because I want her to be ‘that cheerleader’ who has the ‘cool mom’.  It’s all about images in high school people. Don’t you remember?

Today, Megan told me she has a science project due next week.  Fine, I remember these projects, Meredith did them 3 years ago.  Megan has to make a model of a cell (an animal cell, not jail).  It has to be have all the parts, and labeled and be neat and creative.  Apparently, Megan’s idea of creative is to make this model cell out of ~drum roll please~ JELL-O. ** Later this year she will have to make a model of a pyramid.  Yes, she’s already said she wants to make it out of sugar cubes, or caramels, or marshmallows. 

WTF?

She comes by it honestly, because of all the kid in her class, there will be a solid 25% of them that make their models out of some sort of food product.  Now, it would be one thing if they turned the model in, and then got to bring it home (or eat it), but these models will be on display in the hallway, for a week.

A WEEK.

Maggots anyone?

I hope in biology they teach the kids about the 6 senses; sight, smell, hearing, touch, taste, and Common. 

*I don’t drink nearly as much as I talk about it, because I have bi-polar disorder. I don’t have alcohol in my house, it’s too tempting.

**When I Googled Cell model from Jello, I find maybe she’s not so crazy, but still…it’s food. In the hall. At school. Full of kids. For a week. That just screams EWWWW