Never miss an important holiday like National Margarita Day again. You’re Welcome

Yesterday, it turns out, was National Margarita Day.  You would think that I, Queen of all things tequila, would have known this important bit of information and planned my day accordingly.

My minions? Failed me.

I didn’t find out about this National Holiday until I saw it in my Google Reader.  (Thank you Kelley and The Bitchy Waiter)

Finding out in Google Reader? That is a travesty.  Seriously.  How could I not know about this?  So I did what any self-respecting Queen of all things tequila would do. I sent out a text message to my besties “Holy Fuck Batman! Today is National Margarita Day! Why the hell are we not celebrating?”  (The best response to that text? “You are so fucking awesome!”) Of course, it being a Tuesday night, and us having jobs and shit and having to work today, kinda but the kibosh on the celebrations.

In the interest of never missing another important national holiday like this again, I went in search of all the most important, little known, shouldn’t be over looked holidays.  And let me tell you?  There is a fuckton of them.

February 26th is For Pete’s Sake Day *and* Levi Strauss Day.
February 28th? National Tooth Fairy day.
March 1st? Pig Day and Plan a Solo Vacation Day
April 15th is Income Tax Day, but did you know it is also McDonald’s Day and Take a Wild Guess Day?  Pretty sure that last one? Is not the best way to file your taxes.  It is also? That Sucks Day, which makes sense.  Clearly.
May 6th? No Homework Day *and* No Diet Day.  Awesome!

I could go on and on, there are hundreds of observations.  Now?  Not only am I fucking awesome, I am a wealth of important trivial holidays.

Where I take one for the team. You'll thank me later.

Earlier this week I wrote a letter to McDonald’s questioning their decision to temporarily stop the sale of their delicious cherry pies in favor of selling pumpkin pies for the remainder of the holiday seasons.  Clearly they don’t have the sharpest crayon in the box heading up their marketing team, but whatever.  They at least have made a peace-offering by way of the McRib, but I know that’s only temporary.

Sara left me a comment “OHMYGOSH I LOVE pumpkin pie! Is this pumpkin pie disgusting? If so, I am SO over McD.”

UM.. I don’t know. *Whispering* I haven’t tried one yet.  I’m too afraid.   But, because you asked, and because I am a giver, clearly.  I will go out and buy one, eat it AND review it here.

So Sara, this is for you.  You’ll thank me later.

So, I pull into the drive thru. I *know* I am going to order a pumpkin pie (shudder) a small vanilla shake (because it’s the closest thing to whip cream McDonald’s has) and a large Dr. Pepper, (in case this sucks as bad as I am afraid it’s going to). My stomach screamed “Order a McRib!” my head knew I was on a mission.

I got to the speaker, “I need 1 pumpkin pie, 1 small vanilla shake and 1 large Dr. Pepper”.  “Do you want to get another pumpkin pie? They are two for a $1.00”.

I don’t even want the first one, why would I order 2?  But I’m on a mission.  I promised Sara, and I’m a giver. Clearly. I sent a text message to my work bestie “I can’t believe I just ordered a pumpkin pie.  From McDonald’s. And I didn’t order a McRib! Sacrilege really.

I pull through to get my order.  Oh look, my small vanilla shake has whipped cream and a cherry on top. Now they are just mocking me.

Back at work (where I convince my boss I am doing serious research) I sit staring at the box.

What the hell is that couple doing on my box?  Seriously? she looks as if she’s humping his leg. And McDonald’s slogan? I’m lovin’ it!  Their marketing department? They ain’t right.  And coming from me, that’s saying something.

Open it up, it looks like any other McDonald’s pies.  Smells a lot like cinnamon, not so much pumpkin. It looks pretty normal, until you break it in half.  Don’t break it in half. You do *NOT* want to see what’s inside.

The first bite? Not so bad.  It’s not the best, after all it’s a *warm* pumpkin pie, which to me is wrong.  But if first you don’t succeed, take another bite, and another, eventually it will disgust you.  And this?

Was NASTY.

Even with the whipped cream.  Even with the vanilla shake.  Even with the soda to wash it down.  My  taste buds and then my stomach revolted (in their humble opinion)

Sara, don’t give up on McDonald’s.  They still bring the McRib back every year, they have the best fast food french fries in the world, and eventually this disaster will go away.

I can only hope.