Dear McDonald's, I'm beginning to question my love for you

Dear McDonald’s,

I guess we are destined to repeat last year, seeing as how you apparently don’t remember what a traumatic fiasco it was.  I still bear the emotional scars from last year.  But here we are again. Sigh.  Please take notes this year so we don’t have to repeat this. Ever. Again.

I went through one of your glorious drive thru’s a few weeks ago, with my heart, and stomach set on a cherry pie and a small vanilla shake.  I pulled up and placed my order with a really nice sounding teen that I know was just doing her job.  She had no way of knowing just how much emotional trauma she would inflict on me with the simple phrase “I’m sorry, we no longer have cherry pies.  We now have apple and pumpkin.”

PUMPKIN PIES!

At McDonald’s.

I know you pulled this little stunt last year, and I am pretty sure I voiced my opinion and made it clear that you should really get rid of those nasty apple pies for the next 4 months while you try and make pumpkin pies a fast food item.  And really, why must you INSIST on bringing them out in October.  Sure there are pumpkins in October, it’s Halloween.  We celebrate the outside of the pumpkins and throw away the insides.  Pumpkin pies really should only be brought out for two weeks in November and then they should disappear.

I’ve worked with you when I was in college.  I know how your pies are made.  They are deep-fried.  Now, I know that America has an unexplainable obsession with deep-frying everything under the sun, but pumpkin pies?  Really?  And in a drive thru?

I can appreciate that you are trying to make it up to me by bringing back my to-die-for-eat-it-every-day-for-lunch McRib.  But I know that you will take the McRib away from me long before you pull those dreadful pumpkin pies from your menu and bring back my beloved cherry pie.

I will admit that the McRib trick? It’s working.  I will still visit your various establishments just to get my bar-be-que and hot fries fix, but once that McRib is gone?  You won’t be seeing much of me until you bring back the cherry pie.

PS: Even the boxes are ugly.