I am moving before the roof falls down around me

I have tried to be nice and patient and understanding but when your blog doesn’t work for an entire month? Time to move.

So I have moved, to a new home, back to a WordPress dot com home.  I will miss the freedom of my own domain, and SEO will be a little trickier, but what’s an unemployed broke girl to do?

I am over at

Click to go to Welcome to My Life

Hope to see you there

Coming Home

I haven’t been happy with my writing here for a while now.  Which explains my lack of posts. And I hate that.  I hate staying away because I feel like I have nothing to say.

I have talked myself into believing I everything I write here has to be important and relevant.  I have stopped writing about me, about the joys and the disappointments in my life, and only writing about big issues.

And non of that is what this blog was built on.

Welcome to my life used to be about, well, my life.

Now it’s about being angry at the asshats in the world.

And I’m not that girl.  I don’t want to be that girl. Not all the time.

That’s not to say I won’t occasionally climb up on my soapbox and put in my two cents worth, but I’m tired of feeling obligated to be relevant. 

So I’ve decided I’m going home, back to the beginning, back to writing, really writing, and in order to that I need to just be me.  Write  what you know, and I know my life.

For those of you who are here, I hope you stay.  For those that have left, I hope they come back.  To those I haven’t reached yet, I will.

On my own terms, with my own voice.

I’m coming home.

You don't have to have a vagina to be a blogger but apparently it helps

Ok, so last blog post I wrote about how I wanted to take over the world ok take over the internet this blog up a notch, to the next level and maybe get my name out there among bloggers.   As soon as I published that blog post I started thinking “What exactly will it take for me to get my name out there, increase my audience, and do something meaningful with this blog?”

I started looking at some of the blogs I love to read, some I’d love to learn from, some who I consider have made it and looked at what exactly it is they have in common.  Guess what I found:  A vagina.

Yes, they all* have one.  But they also all write about them.

Meredith at Life’s Crazy Joke.com tells you how to get paid to write about your vagina. It’s practically a step-by-step.

Brittany at BarefootFoodie.com writes about how she explained vaginas to her children.  Seriously, go read this.

Shauna at Shauna Glenn dot com writes about why she will no longer be attending pilates classes thanks to her vagina. Her tag line is even “No vagina was harmed in the making of this website”.

We can’t forget Miss Britt, the self proclaimed Queen of the Coochie.  She wrote an owner’s manual for those of us with a vagina.

The argument can even be made that Adam Avitable has a vagina. Even though he never misses an opportunity to show us his balls. We all know you have balls Adam, without you flashing them at us.

When I did a search for ‘vagina’ in my feed reader of 600+ feeds, (insert your own joke about searching for vagina) I got 110 feeds returned.  In the past six months alone.

Maybe the vagina niche has been filled already? (again, insert joke about a filled vagina) Besides writing about mine would embarrass my family, and frankly I’ve done enough of that in my life.

*All jokes at Adam’s expense have been approved by him.

Also, can I say vagina any more in a single blog post?

If nobody ever sees it, is it still offensive?

Ali Martel wrote a blog post about a new hot topic floating around the interwebs this week.  Let me state a few important to remember facts first.

1. I have not seen the video.  I have no desire to see the video.  I very seldom watch videos on-line anyway and almost never videos by people I don’t know, or don’t know of.
2. Not having seen the video I also have not seen the comments.  Nor was I witness to the Twitter conversation about said video.
3. I do not personally know Ali, we have never met.  I do enjoy her blog, I read it religiously.  She is 100% entitled to her feelings and her opinions and those? Are never wrong.
4. What I am about to write isn’t about the video, the comments, the Twitter conversation, or Ali’s blog post.  All of those things are just a good jumping off point for what I am going to write.

Apparently someone posted a video on their personal FB page that offended some people.  Happens all around the internet all the time.  Someone is always posting something somewhere, and somewhere else, somebody else gets offended.  Welcome to life.  Let’s be honest.  I am sure there are a lot of my Tweets, and Facebook status that offend people.  Most likely? My family.  Who knows?

Here’s my thoughts.  The video? The chick in it? Possibly thought it was funny. Maybe she knew it could be offensive to some people.  But isn’t it possible she never thought it would be released to the internet at large?  Let me explain.

My family and I have a similar sense of humor.  My friends and I share a similar sense of humor.  Not everyone in the world gets my sense of humor.  It’s possible I would put something on Facebook to share with my family and friends that they would get, they would find funny, but that not everyone else in the world would.  When I put it on Facebook, I post it with the intention of only my family and friends seeing it.

Now, say one of those friends finds it hilarious because they get it.  So? They repost it on their FB page.  And now?  A whole new set of people I don’t even know, has seen something that I meant to share with family and friends.  Now all of a sudden, it’s out of my hands. (truthfully? It was out of my hands the second I published it on Facebook.)

We bloggers?  We understand the concept of writing/posting/sharing with an audience.  We know that we have an entire world of people out there, and we try to be ever mindful of their thoughts and feelings when we write.  Not everyone on the internet is like that. Not everyone gets that everything on the internet can possibly be seen by everyone in the world somehow, someway.  So, while this girl and her friends thought her video was funny, it’s possible they didn’t realize it would get out into the internet beyond their circle of friends.  It’s also possible that they are unaware that some people would be highly offended by the word they used in the comments.  That may very well be a word they use in their vernacular in their small little corner of the world.  (again, playing Devil’s advocate, speculating, using them as an example of a bigger issue) Short sighted on their part? Sure.  Innocent mistake? Ok.

We as bloggers/writers understand the power of the internet.  We understand how far reaching Facebook, and Twitter can be. We have seen it build people up, and tear people down.  Ali, you have every right to be offended.  And every right to voice that opinion.  And I applaud you for writing a well written, thought out, calm, to the point blog post about it, even educating those of us who have never heard that word before.  Bravo.  I just don’t think the girl in the video or her friends could conceive that her video would be seen by people beyond her small little corner of the world.  What is funny to some, is offensive to others.

The comments on the video? Offensive to those who knew what the word meant. Offensive even if you don’t know what the word means.  Like a tree falling in a forest… if nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound?  Of course it does.  That word? Offensive, even if nobody ever saw it.

But people did see it.

And that is what we should be ever mindful of.  Everything we put on the internet, on Facebook, on Twitter, on our blogs, on other people’s blogs…it’s out there.  For the entire universe to see.  Regardless of intent,  once it’s online, it’s out of our hands.

I can't not find words to adequately express my thanks

I can not begin to find the words to adequately express my thanks to all my readers.

I got a message from Melissa today, at You Won’t Go Blind, offering me a writer position at that website instead of just a guest poster.

She said that my first article there, is still getting lots of reviews and she asked if I would be interested in submitting articles on a regular basis.

And with that simple message?  I saw more of my dream come true.

So for those of you who followed me over there for one day? Pack a bag, you’ll be following me over there more and more.

I took another step towards my dreams coming true.  And I owe a huge part of it to you.

I'm a guest blogger!

Back in January, Sassy Scorp posted she was looking for people to write guest posts for her blog.

I’m a self proclaimed attention whore, and relish the opportunity to meet new people so I jumped all over that.

Today? I’m over at Sassy’s Place, Single Mama in LA.  She’s a single mom like me.  We’re not ‘mommy bloggers’, and we both wish there was more of a single mom blogger niche out there for us.

In the meantime?  We’ll create our own.

So go read about my insecurities about getting naked with someone new.  Nothing like going to ‘visit’ a new bloggers place and getting naked all over their blog.

I’m klassy like that.

Because nothing screams dating expert like a twice divorced recently dumped single mom of two. Clearly.

I happen to be hanging out on Facebook when I saw Melissa say that yes, it was true, You Won’t Go Blind was looking for new writers if anyone was interested to contact her.

I thought it would be fun, so I fired off a message with links to here, and Buy-Her.com and said I was interested in being considered.  You know because nothing screams relationship expert quite as loudly as a twice divorced, recently dumped, now back in the dating world at the ripe age of 40+, mother of two almost teenage daughters.  I know exactly what I’m talking about. Clearly.

When I happened to mention this new adventure to a couple of my co-workers, after they stopped laughing long enough to take a breath, they asked me “So, has this woman ever met you?”   Well, clearly, no.  If she had?  I’d would have never been given this opportunity.

Of course, now, I can go on dates and consider it research.  As one friend pointed out “You can be St. Louis’s version of Carrie Bradshaw.”  Because that’s exactly what St. Louis needs.  Clearly.

In all seriousness, I can bring to the table knowledge about blending families, single parent dating, dating over the age of 40, on line dating (that’s where/how I met Brian, and regardless of where we are now (Splitsville, barely speaking Splitsville) we dated for 4 years) and unblending families.

I don’t have anything posted there yet, but believe me as soon as I do?  You all will be the first to know about it. I would appreciate it if you all would then spread the word and show me some love because I don’t want Melissa to regret giving me this chance.  I think it will be awesome beyond words and I need some support and love.  PLEASE.  We’ll keep the crazy from her until she realizes just how Awesome I am.

Negotiations are done, and we are a go for another season

The contract negotiations are done, and I am happy to announce that after a lot of coffee, and some give and take (mostly give on my end, and take on theirs) I have renewed my web-hosting and domain registration for another year.

And since it’s been determined I will be around for another year, the writers said they won’t write me into a coma, give me amnesia, or have me under go plastic surgery from which I come back unrecognizable, we might as well get this party started.

I renewed the same domain, because duh. Everyone knows to find me here.  I don’t want to have to draw secret maps and send them out to everyone, because sure as I do that I’ll go and forget someone, and they will get their panties in a wad thinking I don’t want them to join us.  And that is so not true.

So, here I stay.

And my name?

It stays too.  I think over at Buy-Her.com I’ll write under my real name, but Ms Batman? That’s been me for three years now.  Kinda hard to change names mid stream.

Ok, so the domain/URL is the same. My name stays the same.  I’m hoping that’s about all that stays the same.  I’ve got some exciting ideas and things coming.  I’ve got a guest blogger coming!  I know, right?  It’s a first here at Welcome to my life.  I’m excited about it.

I’m in a really good place right now.  I am settled, and at peace and happy. I’m ok, really ok with my life and I’m excited about what the future is going to bring.  Really excited.

So I hope you’ll all stick around, pull up a chair, grab a drink, get comfortable, make yourself at home, and let’s celebrate 12 more months.

DeLurker Day, come out come out where ever you are

Come Out, Come Out where ever you are. Wait? What?

It has come to my attention that today is National DeLurker Day.  A day when bloggers beg ask readers to come out of lurkerdom and introduce themselves and say HI! I think you’re awesome!

Or something along those lines.

I have a few readers who comment often.  I have several readers I am just blown away impressed/humbled they even know me.

Then, there are the rest of you. I know you’re out there, but I don’t know who you are. And I really want to get to know you all.

So, please, leave me a comment, introduce yourself.  Leave me a link to your blog (if you have one) so I can return the love and follow you too.

Oh…

And have a great weekend.