I promise you, it is *not* Dr. Phil's fault you got arrested

Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock lately,  you have at some point heard about The Hot Sauce Mom.  You  know her, the one who put hot sauce on the tongue of her son, and then threw him in a cold shower.  She video taped all of it, and sent it to Dr. Phil in hopes of getting on his show.  If the picture at left  and the shit storm surrounding her is any indication….

Mission Accomplished.

Of course then she was investigated and charged with child abuse, and received 3 years probation, which, was suspended.   Basically, she got her 15 minutes of fame, and got away with it.  At the expense of her child.  Who, is adopted,  so she actually had to ASK for this child, APPLY for this child, and this is how she treats him?

I heard a news report today (and I have spent more time than I’m willing to admit, trying to find a link to the sound bite I heard) where she said basically these charges would have never been brought if that tape hadn’t been made. (DUH) And that tape would have never been made if the Dr. Phil show hadn’t asked for it.

*sigh*  Here we go again.  People.  People.  People.  When. Are. You. Going. To. Start. Taking. Responsibility. For. Your. Actions????

Dear Hot Sauce Mom,

You are right when you say charges would have never been brought against you had that video never been seen.  But then again, when you sign a release, and go on the Dr. Phil Show,  what exactly did you think would happen?  Did you honestly think nobody would see that video? You know, the video that the Dr. Phil Show taped, with your permission, at your house, for his show????

You’re reasoning,  “The charges would never have been brought, if the tape had never been seen.  The Tape would have never been seen if it had never been made.  It would never had been made if Dr. Phil had never asked for it.”  is absolutely dead on accurate.  But also incomplete.  You forgot the last step of the equation, or maybe the first step.   “Dr. Phil would never had asked for it if YOU had never written his show wanting to be on it.”

And that sentence right there?  Puts the blame right back squarely on your shoulders.  Never mind the fact that you are this boys mother which trumps your letter writing campaign and puts all the responsibility on your shoulders again.

I have to know, was your 15 minutes of fame, getting to meet Dr. Phil, the trip to his show,  along with all the trappings of a television star, really worth it?  Your son would say no.

This isn’t just a parenting issue.  This is an all around people issue.  There are millions of people out there who don’t take responsibility for their actions.  Everything that happens in their lives is always someone elses fault.  Which is great!  It totally absolves you/them of any and all responsibility in any situation.  “Don’t blame me! It’s not my fault!”

The problem is,  if nothing is your fault, then everyone else gets to decide what your life is like.  It’s his fault I didn’t get that raise,  it’s the kids fault we are always running somewhere to a game or practice, and on and on it goes.

One of my least favorite sentences to here, ever, is  “It’s not my fault.”  If it’s clearly not your fault, you won’t feel the need to express it.   If you’re emphatically screaming “IT’S NOT MY FAULT!!!” Guess where I’m looking to place blame?

Own your shit people.  I have enough of my own, don’t be blaming me for your life being miserable.

Jumping on another bandwagon, because other people have douchenozzles in their life too.

Because I can’t help but jump on every passing bandwagon, I’m jumping on another one. Shocking, I know.  Also? I’m going to jump on said bandwagon with only some of the facts, but with a full blown, probably completely inappropriate opinion, and I’m going to run with it.  Because? Integrity? Not my middle name.

Also? Writing about the douchenozzle-ness of other people keeps me from dwelling on the douchenozzles in my own life.  It’s a nice little vacation for them.

So, I’m sitting in my living room reading blog posts, trying to clear out my Read-it-later list when I come across this little gem by John at John’s Intellectual Gobbledygook. And yes, you’re going to have to go read John’s post because I am lazy and I’m not going to rehash it all here.  Why re-write what is already written, when I can just send y’all over there and wait for you to come back?  AND YOU BETTER COME BACK! Yes, I’m talking to you.

Again.  I don’t know all the facts.  I don’t have any more information that John has provided in his blog post.  Frankly I don’t need all the facts to form an opinion.  Facts? Just get in the way.  So does logic. This has nothing to do with either.  This? Is all about opinion Baby.  And I’ve got plenty of that.

It appears that there was at the very least a reception booked at a fancy schmacy resort. (no I won’t link to it. There are plenty of links in John’s post.  I’m just spouting off opinions. This is not a call to arms. Yet.)  The bride and groom are both military.  He’s stationed in California, she’s in Virginia. (that has nothing to do with the issue at hand. I just can’t imagine being married to someone who is stationed clear across the country.  I mean, sure, I understand separate closets, bathrooms, and possibly separate bedrooms.  But separate states?  That’s, just, wow.  Oh, I get that it’s the military, and that separate states isn’t as bad as separate countries, which could very well happen.  But OMG.  Maybe my relationships would have lasted longer had we tried that.  No, that’s not true. Brian and I lived in separate houses all four years. It didn’t work out.)

Anyway, *ahem* reception (at the very least) booked at resort.  Bride/groom both military. (Yay Military!  Thanks for your service! You guys rock!) *ahem* there is a deployment (leave it to our government and military to screw up a good wedding reception.  Always getting in the way of true love and happiness, but that’s another post altogether. Oh look…a quarter…) there are emails exchanged regarding the cancellation/rescheduling of awesome reception for when the the groom returns from deployment. Provided the bride isn’t at that time deployed herself, which is entirely possible, but that’s not the issue at hand either.

I am not even going to comment on C’s email to Tina.  Again, not the issue.  Also? States facts that have not been entered into evidence yet.  My issue with this?  Tina’s condescending holier-than-thou, shove-it-up-your-ass-sideways attitude.  Way to be professional Tina, you wedding/reception coordinating douchenozzlette.  You need a major mushroom print.  Seriously.

Dear Tina,

I read the email that you sent to C regarding her request to not cancel but reschedule her event with your company.  Kudos to her for at least trying to keep her business with you, and allow you the opportunity to make a profit off of her event even when there was a major upset due to circumstances beyond her control.  The fact that she was considering keeping the reception at your resort regardless of the date, speaks volumes about how much she really liked the venue you offered.  Uh, guess you missed that point.  Yeah.  Might want to keep that in mind next time someone asks to reschedule, vs. just up and cancelling the event.  It’s all about the bottom line sistah, and you? Missed it.

From what I’ve read on John’s blog, and in the comments (and maybe there’s more out there on the internet and I have missed it…which is possible. I can’t keep my thumb on the pulse of every breaking drama in the world.  I’ve got a life too ya know.) nobody is arguing your right to refuse the refund, to uphold your cancellation policy, or refuse to reschedule the event.  What has them (OK most definitely ME) up in arms is your piss poor shoot your mouth off, thinking your are better than everyone else stick it to the bride attitude. Just sayin.

First of all? That first paragraph? That is one long ass run on sentence.  But I’m no English/grammar teacher so what do I know.  So, you’ve worked with soldiers in the past.  Goodie for you.  Then you should be aware of how the military works.  It doesn’t.  Oh and let me state my military credentials for you. I have the same military cred as you.  You’re nephew is shipping out for his 3rd time?  Great. My brother?  18 years in.  I know how the military works.  That is to say… it doesn’t.  They can change plans at the last minute.  They can revoke leave for no reason.  They can put your ass on a plane in 15 minutes and not tell you where you’re going until you are somewhere over Poughkeepsie.  They can tell you to pack for Hawaii, and send you? To Iowa. In December. Not exactly umbrella drinks and sandy beaches kinda weather.

Again.  That? Not the point.  The reception isn’t being held on the scheduled day due to the fact that the groom is unable to attend because oh, I don’t know, his COUNTRY NEEDS HIM?!  Yeah, trumps your little business thing you got going on there.

Back to your email.  You’re pissed off that C booked the date too close to his date of deployment for your comfort and now? It’s being cancelled and you’re losing money and boo fucking hoo.  Whether this deployment was scheduled in August, or January, or even March is unimportant.  Due to your vast work with military soldiers, and a nephew who is serving, you should know that deployments? Are not always scheduled in advance, don’t always stay on schedule, and making plans for anything beyond tomorrow? Could be pointless because the military doesn’t care about your schedule.  Wars? Don’t run around schedules. His deployment could have been schedule in JUNE and *still* have been moved up to March.  Or Schedule in May and his leave cancelled for whatever reason.  THIS? Is not her fault.

All of this “you are using his deployment as a way to take advantage of the vendors” and blah blah blah blah is bullshit.  Guess what? Life fucking happens.  Guess what else?  Your emails? Completely unprofessional.  Way the fuck out of line. The way I see it?  She was explaining a situation to you, and asking you for the opportunity to reschedule the event, AND continue to make a profit on her event.  Baring the ability to reschedule, she was asking if it were possible for a partial refund. Knowing full well, you were within your rights to say NO due to the contract.  But you don’t know if you don’t ask.  And it never hurts to ask.  You? Got up on a high horse and spouted off and insulted her calling her a liar, and called into question her character.  (and also? threatened to tell on her to her commanding officer. What are we 5? Tattle tale) When in fact, your character is now being called into question. No, I take that back. There’s no question about your character.  You have none.

I think you cut off your nose to spite your face there Missy.  You had the opportunity to reschedule the event, and make money from it.  But after the scathing emails you’ve sent? Yeah, I’m willing to bet she doesn’t reschedule her event with your venue, and as you can see? This is getting around the internet.  It’s hard telling how much possible revue you have lost because of it.  Was it really worth it?

Nobody is questioning your right to stand on policy.  Nobody is suggesting you refund any or all of her money. Nobody is suggesting you change your policy for her.  A contract is a contract and in a court of law, that is what is binding. The contract.  The emails, the insults, the insinuations that you fired off? Yeah, that just makes you and your company look bad.  Very bad.