At What Point Has Bad Parenting Gone Too Far?

Have you heard the latest?  There’s a new outrage being talked about in not so quiet voices, about the latest leader in the Mother of the Year race.  This one beats the beauty pageant mom who admitted to using Botox on you little girl.  This one even tops the tanorexic  mom who reportedly took her daughter into the tanning room with her.  This mom, really is your have eaten lately, you might want to come back.  This mom, took her twin daughters to a restaurant for lunch.  Not a fast food grab and go restaurant. This was a sit down and order your food from a menu with a waiter.  A nearby patron thought it odd that the girls’ pants were pulled down.  Until she realized those were not booster seats the girls were sitting on, but potty chairs!

I don’t even know where to begin here.  The Bitchy Waiter tells the story with much more flair and humor than I can bring to the table. (see what I did there?) The thing is, I don’t know if parents today are just stupid, are clueless, have an ungodly overinflated sense of entitlement, don’t know or care to know how to be parents, what?  There are some “parents” (and god do I use that term as loosely) who are taking ‘free-range parenting’ clear to the I don’t give a fuck limit.

Parents today are micromanaging their children’s time down to the minute so that they don’t have to spend any real quality time with their kids.  Soccer, baseball, ballet, and violin lessons are surely enough discipline for any child, why discipline them at home?  In the world of everyone gets a trophy because everyone is a winner, parents and children neither one have to deal with disappointment.  They also never have to live in a little place the rest of us like to call reality, where it sometimes rains and you sometimes lose because here, we keep score.

The mother of the twin exhibitionists (yes I realize it is a bit unfair to use that word about the girls because they didn’t know better. Just like their mother. Clearly) had left the restaurant before management was made aware, which make the patron who discovered it a chicken shit.  Once I saw that, (and got a great picture to post on the internet) I would have gone straight to management.  I also don’t understand the waiter who waited on them.  What he so desperate for a good tip he kept his mouth shut?

This situation raises so many questions about parents today.  I know parents who don’t say no to their children because they don’t want to be the bad guy.  I know parents who buy stupid ridiculous things for their children because they are trying to get the kids to like them more than the ex spouse.  I know parents who potty trained their sons by telling them to go outside and pee on the trees.  Which made for interesting forays out in public.  But bringing potty chairs to a sit down restaurant?  And USING them at the table? I don’t get it.  I just don’t get it.

There are other patrons to consider.  I don’t care if the girls were two, or twenty two, there is a time and place, especially a place, for that transaction, and the dinning table is not it.  There are health codes the restaurant is required to meet.  I am almost positive that this behavior is in clear violation of those health codes and could get the restaurant shut down. And for what? A lazy clueless mother?  And then there are the logistics of the whole transaction. How did she get two potty training aged twin daughters, two potty chairs, and herself into the restaurant without drawing attention to herself?  If the other patrons believed them to be booster seats, the chairs had to have some substance to them, and how did nobody notice and say something?  Then lets say, one or even both girls had a “transaction” during lunch.  That brings up a whole different set of logistics that now must be worked out.  How would she deal with it?  She clearly would have to take both girls with her to the bathroom, which would require pulling up pants at the table. Again, how would she transport everything and everyone without drawing attention to herself?

Look, I know that parenting is not the easiest job in the world.  It’s not as difficult as rocket science (until you get to science projects) or brain surgery either.  It is demanding. There are days you consider selling them on Ebay.  And potty training is not easy either.  It doesn’t happen overnight. It may not happen in a week.  And I can only imagine what it is like with twins.  But Honey, please, for the sake of everyone else eating around you, and out of respect for the health codes, for the plain simple common courtesy and human decency, if the girls are not completely potty trained, please leave them in diapers, or leave them with a sitter.

*Photo taken from The Bitchy Waiter website.

I Get My Sanity Back, Only to Lose My Mind by Taking On Comments over at BlogHer

I don’t know why I feel the need to write about my disorder here.  After all, mental illness is still taboo and there is a certain stigma to it.  Mental illness is not sexy, and it doesn’t sell and I promise you my stats do not increase because of it.  And yet, I write about it.  So much for world domination.  Besides, I think Dooce cornered that market with her breakdown and three-day stint in the psych ward.  Depression is acceptable if it comes with a baby, not so much if it comes with mania.

So, I’m going to let it go. As if it really is that easy.  I’m just done writing about it here, for a while. So. *Ahem* moving on.

I think I put my foot in it yesterday, with a comment I left on a blog post.  If I didn’t piss of people there, I am pretty sure I will here.  That’s just how I roll.  (Does anyone use that phrase anymore?)

Yesterday, I was rolling through my Google Reader when I came across this story Liz of Maybe Baby Maybe Not posted at BlogHer.  Go read it, it’s a great story.  But for the purposes of this blog post, I’ll recap it for you. Guy goes into bagel place, young couple with young kids come in. Kids are all over the place, parents are oblivious.  Older gentleman, puts parents in their place.  It’s worth the read… honestly.

The comments that were there were in support of the parents.  *blink blink*  *scratching head looking all kinds of WTF?* Maybe I’m out of line, but one comment went so far as to say “Parenting is hard and in the end, I wouldn’t want someone embarrassing me so I wouldn’t do it them.”  Wait, WHAT?  Allow these children to assault (Ok, assault may be a bit too harsh, but the children were ‘driving’ their trucks all over the place bumping into other patrons) other patrons, because we don’t want to embarrass them? Are you kidding me?  Under absolutely ZERO circumstances is it ever acceptable for anyone, including a child, to hit another person with anything. Since these parents seem to think that that is perfectly acceptable behavior, I’m sure they wouldn’t care if I bumped into them as I walked by.

Another comment was ‘What if these were special needs children?”

Again I say, there is a certain level of respect due to everyone, and a certain level of behavior expected in public with some exceptions being made. . Children can be taught how to behave in public  If they can not sit in their seats, they sure can at least play close by the parents.  I understand that kids will be kids and that there are children with special needs, but again, the other patrons have expectations which I am sure include but are not limited to ‘enjoying a bagel without being assaulted by a child.” Seems pretty reasonable to me.

I will forgive a whole lot when it comes to kids, if the parents are attempting to be parents  and making an attempt to keep their kids from bothering other patrons.  I will excuse and ignore temper tantrums, yelling and screaming, I will even excuse running around their table.  I don’t even care if your kid comes over and says Hi to me, I’ll engage them in a conversation. But I will also be looking for you as their parent to see if you even know or care where your child is.