What I Learned from Last Night's Presidental Debate

Last night was the first Presidential Debate, where the two candidates square off against each other in regards to their economic plans, their foreign policy, and blah, blah, blah.

I watched the debate with Muri last night as it was homework for her class. I was also on Twitter while watching it.  Nothing is the same now with social media.  Puts a whole new spin on things.

Last night on Twitter I saw several people in my Twitter Stream who were calling the candidates by some variation of their names.  Mittens or Obamya.  Look, I don’t care what side of the political line you stand. Wear whatcha dig.  I can accept that you disagree with a candidates political promises, his stand on foreign policy, his plans to balance the budget.  I get that.  Debate the issues.  Unless you know either of them personally, you can’t really know if you like them or not.  You don’t know them.  But above all else they deserve your respect.  If for no other reason than they are human beings.  And they are standing up and trying to change things, and save this country. What the hell are you doing besides sitting at home calling them names behind your computer screen.  Show a little respect. Seriously.

I saw one person in my Twitter stream last night who had nothing to add to the conversation beyond making fun of facial expressions, body language and style of clothes they wore.  If you can’t watch without making fun of their appearance, turn off the television and listen to it on the radio.  Or just turn it off altogether.  Their appearance, their facial expressions none of that was the point last night.  Really?  Are  you on “What Not to Wear”?  No? Good STFU.

You know if any of this was happening to our children at school our panties would be all up in a wad, and we’d be screaming BULLYING at the top of lungs, and demanding someone take action.  But apparently when it’s adults, and its on Twitter, and the people are in the public eye, it’s perfectly ok.  Also? Your children are watching you and learning. Great lesson.

I am not voting this year.  I can’t. Even if I could, I haven’t picked a side yet.  Neither have my girls.  So far Megan has based her choice on who looks the best.  The next day it’s based on something else entirely.  Meredith was all Take that Obama.  And then she was, Shut up Romney.  But at least she was listening.  And learning.

And that’s important, especially to us, because we are part of Romney’s 47% because as of right now, I am dependent on the government because for the last  year, I have been without a job.  My family has lived on unemployment and food stamps. The argument could also be made that I don’t pay income taxes; never have.  I have had federal and state income taxes taken out of my paychecks.  I pay federal taxes on my unemployment, but I also have such a low-income that I qualify for dependent deductions and the Earned Income Credit.  So, I get a refund.

But things need to change.  My employment will decrease from $219/week to $196/week and it will end December 29th. If I don’t find a job by Christmas, I will have no income.  My food allowance has been reduced twice in the year since I lost my job.  And just for kicks, my water bill just increased to over $100/mo.  It is a fact, that our town has the highest water rate in the state of Missouri.

For those out there who will criticize me for “living off the government” for a year, that “nobody should be unemployed for more than 3 days” I say, give me a job.  I apply for 10 jobs every week. (I’m only required to apply for 3) So do 500+ other people. The same jobs.  I have applied at fast food places only to be told I am way too over qualified and they won’t hire me.  I have applied at every car dealership in the greater St. Louis Area.  Several won’t hire me because they are concerned that the distance I would have to travel to work (70 miles) would be an issue. (It never has been before).  Or because I took on so many responsibilities at my last job, any position they have open would not be enough to keep me busy and/or entertained for a full day.  I would be bored.  And I guess bored somehow trumps employed. I have spent more money than I could afford on stamps and printing in order to mail out resumes. I have put my name and resume on file with every temp agency out there.

Something has to change.  I can not afford another 6 months like this, let alone another four years.  And to think, there are people on Twitter who are making fun of the facial expressions the candidates are making, or making fun of the candidate names.

Because clearly those are the import issues.

My 'This Shit Ain't Happening' List

Once Upon a Time, Morgan Freeman made a movie, because, well that’s what Morgan Freeman does.  And in this movie there was another actor who’s name was pretty well known, but when you’re in a movie with Morgan Freeman, nobody remembers you, even if you are Jack Nicholson, because well… Morgan Freeman.  And so, it came to pass that The Bucket List should get made, and make a few pennies, and start a crazy “Let’s Make A List of Our Own” craze across the nation.  And all the obsessive compulsive people who basically spend their lives making lists and crossing things off of lists and makings lists of lists, rejoiced because finally the world got it and they weren’t the crazy ones anymore.  And then, because there isn’t a fad in the world picked up from movies that can’t be turned into a good blog posts, the blogging world exploded with Bucket List posts too.  Because hello?!?! Morgan Freeman.

So, I set down to write my own bucket list, because hello!?!? not jail.  Then the thought occurred to me, Bucket Lists are great in theory; here’s a list of things I would like to do, places I would like to go, before I die.  The reality of bucket lists are, here is a list of things I would like to do, places I would like to see but will never get to due to, money, kids, jobs, tubal ligations (Having Johnny Depp’s baby was on my list, you see) and restraining orders (see previous reason).  What the hell kind of fun is there in making a list of dreams that will never come true.  That’s putting a picture of a million dollars on your bathroom mirror as a daily reminder that you are poor house broke.

Turns out, Shauna Glenn, made a kind of reverse bucket list on her blog.  So, without Morgan Freeman, because, hello!?!? He’s Morgan Freeman, I give you my Ain’t No Fucking Way list.

Mountain Climbing. I can not for the life of me find any logical reason for anyone to climb up the side of a mountain. First of all, hello!? Mountain. Second, they wear such ugly shoes.  Third, they’re hanging by a rope that somebody had to anchor to the mountain above them.  What if that person is pissed off?  What if they have ADHD and a bird flies by?  And fourth, why climb up the side of a mountain when really there is nothing waiting for you at the top?  Just lie and say you did. And if someone asks for pictures? I’m sure you can find some on the internet.

Perform on Stage. I can play RockBand, in the privacy of Brian’s house, with family and only a few friends around to witness it.  I play the bass guitar. Know why? Because I can stand in the back and nobody really gives a shit about the bass player.  I can sing well enough to sing to the radio in my car, or score in the 90’s on RockBand, but that’s it.  I am a photographer because I belong behind the camera, and I blog because I belong behind the computer screen.

Write a book. Ok this one is kind of iffy.  I was convinced I could never write a book.  I mean, I can’t get 1000 page views a week here, the closest I’ve come was 785, and that was the week I got out of jail.  See what kind of drastic measures I have to take to get readers?  So, writing a book was on my list of things I’d never do.  But now I have to question that, because 50 Shades of Grey is the Lindsay Lohan of literature and that series makes up the top 20% of book sales in America.  If that train wreck can sell millions, I just might stand a chance.

Hunt for Bigfoot the sasquatch, not the big ass redneck truck.  There are people within a 100 mile radius of my home that believe Bigfoot exists and that they are just the people to hunt them down and bring them in.  And by them, I mean the whole Bigfoot tribe (Herd?) You know, because 1 isn’t enough,  you need a whole group in order to make your discovery legitimate.  So, while it’s fun to listen to their stories, I’m not suiting up to hunt these… whatever they are.. down.

Run for Public Office. This ranks right up there, and could possibly be combined with Perform on Stage.  I have no desire to run for public office.  That means I would be in charge of things, or worse yet, people.  I’m already in charge of 2 people besides myself and well, the verdict is still out on how well I’m doing with our three lives. There is no way any sane person would entrust me to being in charge of anything that effects so many people’s daily lives.  Unless it means managing a McDonald’s; I might be able to do that.

Join the military.  Jail sucked. I made the most of it, but it sucked.  For 23 days, my life was at the hand of someone else.  They said when I could eat, they said when I could socialize, they said what I watched on television, they said what I wore. I imagine the military is some variation of that.  Also, I have a real problem with authority.  My first husband was in the Air Force (Aim High) and tried to talk me into joining.  He said that because I had a college degree I could go in as an officer.  I told him it would really be unfair to him for me to outrank him at home and at work.

Drive a Lamborghini. Or a Maserati.  I am no stranger to the car world. I have worked at car dealerships, I’ve been married to a mechanic, and well, most men love cars.  The louder, the faster, the more expensive, the better.  I get that this is hard wired in most guys DNA. And should the opportunity arise I will be appropriately excited about the experience, but saying “I drove a Lamborghini” is like saying “I drank Louis Roederer Cristal Champaign”.  I understand the appeal of the Lamborghini and Maserati. I get that they are very expensive, European cars.  I know this.  Hell, I LOVE BMW’s.  I just have no desire to drive one, either one.

Sky Dive. I have yet to find any reason (good or not) for me to jump out of a perfectly functioning, still in the air, engines still running, airplane.  Now, if you’re in the military (see above) I get it. If you’re a fire jumper (who jumps into forest fires to put them out from the inside) I get it, I still think you’re insane jumping from a perfectly functioning plane into a forest fire. Hello!?! FIRE?? But if I get on a plane and they hand me a parachute, I’m giving it back and turning around to walk right the fuck off that plane.

Read The Hunger Games or 50 Shades of Grey.  I read the Harry Potter series (I was given the books) and loved them.  I got sucked into the Twilight series and read the books. Once.  I had no desire to read The Hunger Games or 50 Shades.  Neither series interested me, I wasn’t curious, and now, now that the hype is waning it’s now a matter of principle.  I am determined to be one of the last 10 people in the world to never read either series.

Swim in an ocean.  I have been to Panama City Beach, I have also been to Daytona Beach.  I have put my foot in the ocean at both beaches.  But I never went any further than mid-calf deep.  I hate slimy things.  I hate slimy rocks in oceans, lakes, rivers.  I hate bodies of water with creatures living in it.  I will make the exception for Mark Twain Lake.  I’ll get in the water there because that’s the only way to tube or wake board. But I don’t have to touch the bottom. Ever. I will never swim in the ocean, because A) I refuse to touch the bottom and B) the creatures that swim in oceans can eat a person.  I’m nobody’s dinner.

Now for a list of things I do want to do.

• Own a pair of Louboutins
• Weigh 115 again
• Get my nose pierced
• Get 1000+ page views a week consistently for 2  months.
• Have a relationship with my son again
• See Ireland
• Spend a week at an all inclusive resort that has beaches and margaritas.
• Not grow old alone
• Make a living with my camera or my writing, probably my camera

What’s on your Fuck No Way List?  Or your Bucket List?

Class of 2012

Yesterday, 47 seniors along with parents, family and friends sweated it out in the high school gym as faculty, staff and members of the community said Good Bye and Good Luck to the Class of 2012.

Some two hours away, in a larger city, with a larger graduating class, with an even larger audience of parents, family, and friends, the faculty and staff and members of the community said Good Bye and Good Luck to yet another graduating Class of 2012.

I attended the first ceremony, while my son graduated in the second.

My son, finished high school, walked across the stage and received his diploma yesterday. Without me. Or so I’m guessing.  I have no real way of knowing.  I gave birth to him, and was not allowed to attend this milestone in his life.  I was told if I tried, I would be forced to leave.  So, to avoid embarrassment to my son, even though the scene would not be my fault, it would be played out as if it was, I stayed here.

I stayed here, and watched two of my cheerleaders receive awards and scholarships and their diploma.  I watched the star of our boys basketball team be named Valedictorian, and another basketball star was named Salutatorian. I sat there almost as proud as any parent in the crowd, knowing that two hours away there was a woman sitting in that crowd pretending to by my son’s mother and steal my day, my joy, my pride.

I went to graduation parties afterwards and celebrated with graduates.  I took pictures of families and friends with kids in caps and gowns.  I captured memories for those families, all the while someone else was standing in my place, with my son, making memories that should have been mine.

Today, 47 young adults woke up to not the first day of summer vacation, but the first day of the next chapter of their life. Today, 2 hours away, my son woke up, a graduated senior, woke up with a woman pretending to be his mother.  I wonder if I ever crossed his mind.  I wonder if it ever occurred to him that I love him, I miss him, and I would have been there to show him if only his father wouldn’t have threatened to stop me.

To the Class of 2012, congratulations, and good luck.  To Ian Andrew Ramsey, I wasn’t allowed to be there physically, but oh god, my heart was.  I love you more than you can know, infinitely more than you’ve been told.  I am proud of you. Congratulations Son.

In 2012 I am Going to Try Something New

With the start of a new year, comes the hopes and dreams of it being better than the last.  And that we will be better than we were.  In my head a new year looks like this:

and ends up looking like this:

I don’t make resolutions anymore.  Sure I sit down the first of the year, and look at all the Self and Shape magazines I subscribed to last year, and think “Wow I’d look amazing if I worked out and ate right.”  Then, I go eat the last few Christmas cookies that escaped the girls’ radar.

This year, instead of improving myself, because let’s be honest, the road to success is not paved with good intentions, I’m going to try something new.

iTunes offers free music every week.  Starbucks offers free downloads as well.  It is always a band, a group, a soloist I have never heard of.  I’ve never tried them. I have no idea why not, I have nothing to lose.  This year?  I’m going to try new music.  New music+free downloads = win/win. Or at the very least, break even.  Also included in this, would be podcasts.  I have two I listen to consistently I need more.

For years, my mother would give me a subscription to Taste of Home magazine for Christmas, along with the hardback cookbook of every recipe they had published the year before.  Great gift. I loved it.  I have stacks and stacks of magazines, and more recipe cards than Vegas has playing cards.  And I have about 8 meals in my repertoire, and that is being overly generous.  So this year, I’m going to try new recipes. I’ve got plenty at my disposal. I have time to shop, and plenty of time to cook, and if the girls don’t like it, I’ve got peanut butter and jelly.

I have an amazing camera.  My Nikon D40.  Meredith and the cheerleaders have insisted it be brought to every home game.  I have spent years shooting people.  Guess what? My camera takes pictures of other things besides people.  I’m going to try to photograph less people, more things and places. My cousin Melissa has started a Facebook Group, The 52 Week Photography Challenge which will push and encourage me to shoot things besides people.

I love to read, but I’ll admit, I am afraid to step outside my comfort zone and read new authors.  I go to the library every. single. day.  Library=free books.  What do I have to lose? If I don’t like it, return it, get something new.  This year, I’m going to try to read new authors, new books.

Since I am open to trying new things, I am, therefore, open to suggestions from you.

What would you suggest I try first?

Also, don’t forget my review and giveaway that ends on Jan 5th.  A free copy of digital scrapbooking software.  Please?