I am working on forgiving.
I’ll be honest, it’s difficult.
No, it’s down right hard.
But the anger I’m holding on to is hurting me. It’s getting in the way. It’s holding me back.
It is a physical heaviness in my chest, and my gut, when I think about the situation.
I don’t want to be this angry. I don’t want to be this pissed off. I don’t want to fee this weighed down over something I can’t control.
It’s over. It’s done. It can’t be undone. And yet, it continues to echo in my head, in my heart, in my life. I still get SO angry I cry.
And that? Is stupid.
And unhealthy.
It’s time to forgive them. Not for them, they won’t care. They will continue to be mad at me, but I need to forgive them so that I can let it go, so I can move on.
Filed under: Relationships | Tagged: I can change how I react to it, I can't change the situation, I need to forgive them, learning to let go, they will never know |
Welcome to My Life The Lost Years 
I need to do the same thing. It’s so freaking hard, even though I know it’s the best thing for me. I’m sorry you’re having to go through it as well.
@The Bipolar Diva, it’s difficult, but OMG it’s so easy to hang on to the anger and the rage.
But it’s not healthy.
We’ll get through it, you and I both. We’re strong women.
Life is too short to dwell on an issue for a long time.
@otin, That is the truth. Sometimes it’s difficult to let go, but I’m trying.
OH what a difficult lesson to learn about forgiveness. When we are younger we cannot see how forgiving them helps us, it is only when we are much older and realize we have held on to pain and rage at someone else and they are living life without a care in the world. Which makes us angrier that we were that easy to get over. But then we realize that they are controlling us even now with the anger and rage we hold. Letting that go is like having a kid give us a broken toy. They want us to fix it but don’t have the patience to wait for it all to be fixed and snatch it back before we are done. We treat anger and pain much the same way. We get so accustomed to living with it, that letting it go is seemingly more painful then dealing with it. It becomes our anchor, our justification for every thing else that goes wrong. Sending you love, support and prayers that you are not the child with the broken toy. You give it fully to God and let him do what only he can do and that is leave a scar that is painless in the place where the wound was.
@Angel, Forgiveness is a difficult one to be sure. And maybe, I need to sit down and write a letter to this person, and just get it all out, and then? Be done. Burn the letter, forgive them, let it go, and move on.
You can always forgive, but never forget. You are doing a very big thing by forgiving those who have wronged you. It’s very difficult to forgive someone who has hurt you so badly. I am still working on that myself. I’m just not sure that it will ever happen for me. I wish you the best of luck in your journey.
@Laci, I need to just let this whole flippin mess go. It’s not my problem anymore. I walked away. So why it it rearing it’s flippin ugly ass head I don’t know but I need to just let it the hell go.