An open letter to his mother

Dear Bat Mom,

I knew when Batman told me it would be smart if I wasn’t at the family reunion today that it wasn’t wholly his idea. The noble intent behind it was his. His need to protect me from the possible drama was his The fact that it felt like a complete slap in the face, came from you.

Our relationship has been a rollercoaster from the beginning. The day I met you, you welcomed me with open arms and we talked like old friends. At the time, I thought it was wonderful that his mother and I could get along so well. I learned you are always that nice, friendly, loving to everyone you meet. You’re just that warm and inviting and open.

When you realized my relationship with your son had the potential to be a long term, maybe even permanent, things changed. I don’t blame you, even for that. You’re a mother, as am I. You love your son, as do I. You want what is best for him, you want him to be happy. You wonder and doubt that I’m best for him.

I know that you would rather have GFTP for a daughter-in-law than me. You have never made that any secret. That used to bother me. Until I realized it didn’t matter who you wanted as a daughter-in-law, what matters is who Batman wants as a wife. And he doesn’t want her.

No matter what you have said about me in the past. No matter what you have done to me in the past, I love you. You are his mother. You raised him from a little boy into an incredible loving, giving, warm, wonderful man who gives all of himself for those he loves. And right now, me and mine are counted among those he loves.

I have no plans to steal him away from you. I would never win that battle anyway. I’m smart enough to not even try. I want more than anything to be included. We don’t have to fight over him, or make him chose. We can be allies and love him together in the best way we both know how.  You depend on him for so much now, and as time goes on, that dependency will only increase.  I will never ask him to step away, turn his back or chose me over you.  I only want to be there to help and support him in all that he must do to help and support you.

I know that in the past I have fallen short of your idea of the perfect partner for your son.  But you know deep in your heart, from conversations in the past, that I love that man with everything that I am.  And because I love him, I love you too.

I have things to prove to you, I am well aware.  I know that I broke your heart in the past.  I want to believe that at least somewhere along the line you loved me.  I want to hope that somewhere down the line you will love me again.

I understand your reservations about me being there today.  I knew that the ’slap in the face’ I felt came from you.  I can forgive that.  Because maybe, just maybe I need to remember, I am not family.  You need to remember I am not family YET.

I love you Bat Mom.  Let’s find a way back to a friendship at the very least.  We owe it to him.