Cleaning out the junk in my head

I know I’ve been quiet the past few days.  Ok, the past week.  I guess Ron White was right when he said “Diamonds. That’ll shut her up!”

The truth is, while the diamonds really did blow me away and I am awed by them and by the man who gave them to me, I really have had a lot going on in my brain and I just haven’t been able to sort it all out.

I’ve been having an internal fight, argument, feud, battle over a blog post.  There is something that I am aware of, and I’ve been back and forth completely undecided if I should write about it or just let it go.  So I’ve settled for this…

You come here to my blog every day, reading about my life.  Digging through the archives, hoping to find out everything you can about me.  You didn’t think I knew, but I do.  I don’t see the point to your obsession but really, if I didn’t want people to know I wouldn’t put it on the Internet for them to read.  I know you’re here, and now you know I know.  Why not step up and leave a comment, start a dialogue, at least get to know the person you’re reading about.

An honest, heartfelt open invitation to learn all you want to know, directly from the source.

This weekend is the Batman Family Reunion.  I want more than anything to be there, because there are a lot of members of that family I genuinely love and truly like to be with.  There are a few I could do without.  There will be plenty to drink, because really what family reunion is complete without drinks?  And we know what happens when the water turns to wine. Based on things in the past, Batman said it wouldn’t be a good idea for me to be there.  I want sooo much to believe he said that to protect me, and spare me from the drama that we both know will ensue.  It felt like a slap in the face.  I am sure he didn’t mean it, but it doesn’t make it sting any less.

Just when I was getting the pity party for one almost into full swing, I was given a bit of news I am not at liberty to share, but fuck it sure puts everything into perspective. While I was winding up a really good pout and whine, this just took the wind right out of my poor-pitiful-me sails.

I’ve read a few blogs this week talking about alpha bloggers.  I happen to catch a talk show on XM radio this week, talking to ‘popular bloggers’  and how they got their start in blogging and how they have managed to turn their blogs into a business.

I have a mental illness, I am not crazy enough to think I could ever be one of those bloggers, but I do aspire to maybe have triple digit traffic, and maybe double digit comments on a steady and consistent basis.  Of course in order to get more traffic and comments, I really need to write stuff worth reading and commenting on.  I have wanted to improve the writing on here for a while, and with my Jail Chronicles I did.  But as much as I covet more attention blog traffic, I do have my limits as to what I will do for good blog fodder.

Oh and one more thing.. Thanks again to Dawn, who told me about Windows Live Writer.  I never knew about this coolio editing gizmo and dang I lurve it